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90 Day Fiance

2014.11.12 00:09 JawolopingChris2 90 Day Fiance

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https://preview.redd.it/mb85394fgdd51.jpg?width=194&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8953ab32bca53a63e6bca3ec23df00e73863ce89
submitted by 27JJuldacket to u/27JJuldacket [link] [comments]


2020.05.30 17:11 MetalJeremy I've heard bad things about Asian Dating and Filipino Cupid. Are these things true?

I'm just wondering if the negative things I've heard are completely true...
submitted by MetalJeremy to Filipino [link] [comments]


2020.05.04 20:30 NexusRevZ A moment of silence.

Each step I take onto the stairs of the Saint Helena Church reminds me how close we were to be together forever. Our beloved church, where we were wed, is now for her. In my grief, my vision gets blurry from tears of pain. At the final step, I bump into an elderly, homeless looking man with a walking stick. He stumbles back a few inches and drops his rusted pocket watch on the floor. He anxiously picks it up and stands to check on the antique’s condition, facing away from me. I couldn't even recall the words to apologize for being careless. Nonetheless the man pockets his watch in his worn out jacket, and says, "It's ok young man. Remember to keep them close till the very end." I think it was such a weird way to pardon someone else in a place as solemn as this and continue on.
Past the church doors and through the occupied pews, beyond the sight of the scattered souls in attendance, the sight of the beautifully hand crafted mahogany coffin sits alone with one of the lids opened up. Moving closer to the front of the pews, I can start to recognize her still luscious blonde hair. Even during time, her hair flutters through the gentle breeze.
Upon reaching the front of the first pew, I stop to stare at the coffin, fixated at her forehead. The spot which she always wished for my chin to rest when we hugged. "Why did you have to go out?", I mutter to myself, more tears running down my cheek. Recognizing my pain, my father comes up to my side and holds my wrist,squeezing it for a sign of emotional support. He later gestures to the reserved spot for me to be seated beside my in-laws.
A few minutes pass by and Father Ted walks in from behind the pillars and straight towards the podium. He is a burly looking Chinese man, in a white top with a black crisp-ironed gown over it. He places his bible onto the podium top, wearing his glasses and licking his thumb before flipping through the pages of the bible. A few seconds of flipping the pages to his preference, he places a thin red bookmark across the spine of the bible and looks at everyone in attendance.
Slowly his gaze sweeps across each individual with a look of sympathy. As our eyes meet briefly, all semblance of sorrow disappears as I brace myself for the final goodbye. Taking a deep breath, I hold it in for a couple of seconds and finally release it with a heavy sound of distress.
Father Ted captures our attention by clearing his throat, and begins his introduction, “Thank you all from coming in this afternoon", his heavy Oxford English accent echoes through the church hall, hushing the last few whispering voices. The now focused attendees await for the Father’s guidance.
"We are gathered here today to say a fond farewell to our dearly beloved, Jasmine Parker." The sound of her name brings up the memory of her introducing herself to me at a diner we met for the first time. I frequently used the diner as an inspiration spot for my novel writings and she often visited in the noon for her cup of coffee before heading back to her lectures in the local high-school. We did shared occasional glances, and soon enough, we began to notice each other more and more. It wasn’t until a few days, when Cupid decided to shoot an arrow at her cup of coffee, spilling its contents all over my shirt, that we would look into each other’s eyes with something more than meek interest. I met her profuse apologies with a comment of it being alright, given that it might’ve been divine intervention to have met such an angelic being. After a couple of dates, we both admitted to taking an interest to one another and played aloof when we first met.
“This multitude of people here today is a living testimony to how many lives she had touched over the years." Indeed she has. Many of her students were stubborn and unproductive in class. By the end of the year, she managed to turn them into gems. Each one of her students are now present and occupy the entire rear of the church, hiding the entrance from sight. She was a shining beacon that guided them all to a better future. Now she will be a lighthouse of memories.
"We may not understand why the Lord saw fit to take her in the prime of her life, but that is not for us to know." I know why. It's because I told her to go alone. It was the peak of the plague and everyone was instructed to stay within their premises. Our own home wasn't really a home yet, as we just bought it and needed a tremendous amount of work to make it our own. Due to the restrictions, none of the renovations could be carried on. So, with a fifty percent completed home of makeshift beds and kitchen counters, we lived in romantic seclusion.
However, on that unfortunate day, our supplies ran dry. Instead of ordering online she insisted on going down to the nearby shops, just to buy them quickly. Not knowing of what fate had in store for her, I told her to drive to the shop alone. In her excitement, she promised me a treat and quickly spruced herself up, leaving with a surgical mask across her face. Being the new couple in town, I began cleaning the makeshift bedroom and made it romantic.
Two hours into the cleaning, my phone rang and the horrid news hit me. "Hi, this is Officer Vikram Kumar of the Yishun Police Department. Do you know Ms.Jas-" "YES! Yes I know her! She's my fiance. What's the matter?" I instinctively interrupted the coarse Indian male accented voice and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry sir, but she met with an accident. The paramedics have informed me that she is in serious condition and we would like you to come over to Khoo Teck Puat hospital. I will be here at the A&E department. Please look for me." All breath and thought left my body. The thoughts of her being in critical condition and the kind of pain she is in ran through my mind. "Hello sir? Hello?" I snapped out of my grueling imaginations and reassured the officer I would visit as soon as possible. With a quick change of clothes and some calls to both of our parents, I grabbed a call taxi over. With the passing of each streetlights, moments of us spending the time together flashed into my mind.
Upon reaching the entrance of the hospital, I paid the taxi driver and made a hasty dash towards the A&E department, but no men in blue were in sight. In a frenzy of panic, I questioned the females at the front desk and asked for my fiance. The couple of Filipinos reassured me of her admittance, but a minute into their search into their database changed their facial expression. In my mind, I thought I had arrived much earlier than the ambulance, but all hope was lost when the staff replied to me. "I'm sorry for your loss sir. But, your fiance has passed away due to intense injuries on her way here. She is currently at the morgue. I can escort you over?"
All of our dreams, laughter, hope and promises made to her, had dissipated. I felt hollow, yet something else was seeping in. An intense emotion of fear, sadness and unforgivable anger. My eyes didn't swell into the emotions yet. Awestruck with the news, I followed my guide to the morgue. The short five minute walk seemed to last only a few seconds as I was not able to comprehend the situation in my head. Sliding the thin white sheet of cloth from her head revealed a bloodied face. A few slits of skin were torn across, where my goatee would rest on her forehead and rosy cheeks. Her once maroon lipstick lips, now covered with a natural red of her own blood. Her right earlobe, where the earring I gifted her would have hung gently is now torn and left dangling, the gem morbidly winking at me with the morgue’s fluorescent lamps. However, what moved me deeply was her peacefully shut eyes. Even in this gory condition, her eyelids looked beautiful to me.
"Sir? Excuse me sir? So, is she your fiance?", the Malay female coroner spoke a little louder to get my attention. I wanted to say yes. To yell it out. No words would come out. Each time I opened my mouth, I just gasped for air and my eyes started getting moist. The emotions flooded out of my eyes and I nodded slowly in agreement to her question, the nods slowly turning to shakes of regret. My legs gave way and I sank to the ground on both my knees crying it all out. That was the day I drove her away. This memory of torment plays in my head as a few people say their eulogies at the podium.
Father Ted returns to his podium once again and closes his bible, its dull echoing thud reverberating throughout the four walls of the church. "Those were truly inspirational eulogies and it makes her sound exceptional. The time has arrived and we must allow our beloved child to continue onto her next phase of her journey. Join me in this moment of time and let us share this minute of silence and pray to our beloved Lord to accept her for all her-" After hearing those words of that herald silence, I lower my head and shut my eyes, sitting in the grieving quiet of my own thoughts.
For the first ten or so seconds, the sound of people shuffling about in their seats ceased to exist. The chirps of the birds from the outside could be heard so clearly. Every so often the gust of wind playing with the church's tapestry could be heard. However, the silence doesn't last long. Not to me. A soft cough. So soft, any stranger would dismiss it to be someone in the pew. To me, it’s my beloved Jazz. My eyes slowly open and focus onto my thighs. The next sound worries me. The sound of creaking wood, as if the coffin was being tampered with. I look towards my father to see if he’s noticed, but he was still in deep prayer.
A few more moments after, the same sound would raise heads. In this complete silence, no one seemed to acknowledge it. Reverting my gaze back to my thighs, a blur, a dark outline, stretches out from within the coffin's shadow on the ground. I blink rapidly and I am sure there is someone standing over my beloved. As I slowly tilt my head up to the coffin, the shadow shrinks and a thud is heard. I freeze and a chill crawls from my toes to my head. The shock of seeing my lover's feet and her favourite Checkers sneakers should have made me scream. But, the thought of choosing the emotions between joy and fear played around in my mind and nothing came out of my unsealed lips.
Half a minute now, but it feels like eternity. The pale blue jeans still fit snugly around her legs. With a slow and quiet movement, her left heel lifts up and lands a short distance from her right foot. I could still recall her giggles from when we had the time of our lives. How her voice filled me with butterflies within my stomach, how nostalgic it was. A memory so vivid, so clear, that I could almost hear it. Hear it from afar. She gracefully walks on her tiptoes with footsteps that echo ever so quietly on the marble floor, as she dismisses my presence and walks past to the rear of the church. Unsure what I’m hearing or seeing, I forced myself to look towards the Father. His robust body still stood firm behind the podium with his eyes shut in prayer.
Time stretches beyond me, and I almost lose semblance of it. Focusing my sights on the empty coffin, my lover is missing and the sound of footsteps continue on to the rear where they halt shortly. "You're here. Where are you my love? Be with me." Her once lively voice echoes pleasantly throughout the church. A quick gaze upon the Father’s directionless posture tells me that I am the only person capable of hearing her. In a moment of cautious joy I utter her name. The name only I would call her,
"Jazz."
A strong gust of wind blew from the rear of the church and the sound of someone running towards me could be heard. With a slight chill of fear I turn and there she is.
Still gorgeous beyond life, lipstick and thin stitches across her facial injuries, she stands mere feet from me. Although her irises are rid of the calm emerald colour, she still looks ever radiant. Her head tilts slightly to the left, her brows furrowed in an expression of slight confusion, as if she struggles to remember my face. The face of her one true love. A smile slowly stretches her dried lips and she tilts her head back in place. "My love, I'm lonely. I feel cold. I need you by my side. Didn’t you promise me that we’d never be apart?." Tears trickle down her cheek and her voice wavers. I nod vigorously , holding myself from crying aloud from all of the pain and suffering. "Yes..", were the only words I could muster in the excitement for her return.
"Come then. Come with me. We shall live forever and more."
This entire minute endlessly ran for an eternity now, and I never want it to end. She offers her hand to me, her radiant smile bathing me in a warm, comforting glow. In my moment of bliss, I stop crying and smile through my tears, in realization that I can be with her again. As I begin to raise my hand to meet hers, the soft ticking of a mechanical cog snaps softly into my ears. I glance behind my beloved, where there stands a figure, partially hidden behind the pillar with a shiny trinket in its hands. A shine I had recently seen. The image of a pocket watch flash in my head as I stare back into Jazz's eyes. I hear the strange statement in my mind again.
"It's ok young man. Remember to keep them close till the very end."
My heart tears slightly recalling that message and I watch the horrific scene unfold in front of me. The color in Jazz’s skin draws pale and she looks terrified. She rigidly straightens back into place like clockwork, following the sharp sound of the ticks. Her right arm snaps back down by her side. Her face of terror turns to sadness and a molten marble rolls down her eye in sorrow. At the next tick, she crosses her arms over her chest, palms open and facing down on her shoulders. Her eyes seem to widen in panic and her lips part in a harsh gasp, as if she struggles to remain alive. I hear Father Ted’s voice, distant and distorted, as if time itself began to slowly, painstakingly, resume its course,
'Amen...", he concludes, as Jazz, my beloved, begins to fall over her heel. In my incomprehensive fear, I instinctively shut my eyes and recall the images in my head of her broken visage in the morgue. Gradually opening my eyes to reality with tears rolling down my cheeks. I weakly call out to her.
“Jazz..?”
At the spot, where she would have landed was a single petal of alabaster and back in her coffin was her body.
I'm not sure of the events that took place in the church. However, there's a saying in town now.
"Remember to keep them close till the very end."
At least, that much was buried in my head now. I swab away my tears with my handkerchief and remind myself of the duty to carry Jazz to the final resting place.
submitted by NexusRevZ to nosleep [link] [comments]


2020.03.30 13:11 shwalter Woke up with a FilipinoCupid account!

So this morning I woke up to dozens of email notifications on a yahoo account I use only for signing up for subscriptions (basically a spam account). All from FilipinoCupid! I clicked on the link and whoever “Anna” is didn’t set a password, so it took me straight to “my” account. I feel like I’ve seen the inside circle. This girl opened her account today and messaged over 100 different guys! All the same message - “Love your profile and would like to get to know you. Are you interested in me?”
She also got about a dozen and half responses back and has been chatting away. Girls been busy!
I almost feel bad for putting a password on and locking her out 🤷🏼‍♀️😔 weird thing is she was giving people her actual email? No idea why she used a fake to sign up!
Anywho, just thought I’d share my exciting wake up 😂
submitted by shwalter to 90DayFiance [link] [comments]


2020.02.06 00:18 re-gret-a I think Larry and Jenny are my favorite couple from all the series. They are genuine and cute. Larry looks so uneasy all the time also his kids were so damn nice :D and the poor smol smol dog worrying if jenny was active on filipino cupid ;(

I think Larry and Jenny are my favorite couple from all the series. They are genuine and cute. Larry looks so uneasy all the time also his kids were so damn nice :D and the poor smol smol dog worrying if jenny was active on filipino cupid ;( submitted by re-gret-a to 90dayfianceuncensored [link] [comments]


2020.01.24 21:01 g2go4now Filipino cupid alle sammen

Filipino cupid alle sammen submitted by g2go4now to Beano_mann [link] [comments]


2019.12.13 07:46 br_ielle [Request] 23F Asian. Baby face.

Hi! I want to see how well I can describe myself. I'm an artist but drawing people isn't my strong point, I wanna see what you guys come up with!
Gender: Female
Head shape/jaw: I think my head is normal-sized... more long than wide. I have a heart-shaped face, but not with very defined cheekbones. I have a big forehead, I don't know how to describe the shape. Think Rihanna's forehead but a liiittle bit smaller. Haha. My jaw points more downward, not so much forward. Dunno if that helps.
Eyes: Almond shaped, hooded eyes. Slightly downturned. Kind of small. You can see some eyebags on me.
Eye color: Very dark brown, looks black if not under bright light.
Eyebrows: I have naturally arched eyebrows. Not THAT steep of an arch but people sometimes say my eyebrow shape makes me look bored or annoyed. Lol. Not bushy, just right but a little sparse on the outer edges.
Chin: Slightly pointy chin.
Mouth: I have a small mouth, and small teeth. I have a cupid's bow. My lips are average, more on the thin side.
Nose: Tiny nose, almost like a button nose but I'd say it's slimmer.
Ears: Never really thought about my ears... I think they're average-sized. Top of my ear starts where the top of my eye is, and my lobes line up with the bottom of my nose. I have free earlobes, not attached.
Hair color: Same as my eyes: very dark brown, almost black, only really looks brown under bright light.
Hair style: I recently chopped my hair off so currently it goes a little bit past my shoulders. Layered, but thick. Wavy hair, like 2a curl type hair.
Facial hair: None :P
Skin tone: Warm skin tone. I think I have pale olive skin.
Piercings: Just regular earlobe piercings, one on each ear.
Tattoos: No tattoos.
Miscellaneous: I'm Filipino. And as mentioned in the title, I have a baby face. People ALWAYS tell me I could pass for 16 or younger. I think it's because my facial features are pretty small. That's all! I'll add photo/s for reference once some submissions come in. Thanks for your time, excited to see what comes up!
submitted by br_ielle to PoliceSketchme [link] [comments]


2019.12.01 20:00 tutetibiimperes Nugu Roundup #21 - Angels We Have Head on High - 20191201

What is This?
A place to talk about new and/or underrated Kpop groups/soloists/bands and share information, performance videos, etc. Here's a link to the last full Nugu Roundup.
It's December now and soon enough we'll be seeing Christmas angels adorning trees and lightposts alike, so today let's learn about a different sort of angel, Chic Angel.
What is Nugu?
For purposes of this series I'm defining it as groups that aren't from the 'Big 3+1' companies and that haven't yet won a music show. The term isn't meant as a slight to any of the groups mentioned here, this is about bringing some attention to groups that deserve it that are flying under the radar.
And now onto the show...
Chic Angel
Who Are They?: A four member girl group under Liz Entertainment (also stylized as Leez Entertainment)
Company: Liz/Leez Entertainment was founded in 2014 and currently represents Chic Angel and their new girl group ICU. They were previously the home of Honey Girls, who disbanded after less than a year with only one release.
Introductions: As they don't seem to have the 'Pops In Seoul Self Introductions' here are some interviews and variety-style 'get to know the group' games. There was a lineup change early one with two members Sha-Sha and Bomi leaving and being replaced by two new members Dayeon and Sia, so some of the girls in some of these aren't in the group anymore.
Members
Debut: February 16th, 2017 with Is Love (MV - sort of, there was no official MV at release, but this was posted by one of their official distributors later and is the song over clips of the girls doing various things) Digital Audio (Link) Live Stage (Link)
Most Recent Comeback:
Other MVs and Live Stages:
YouTube Channel: Chic Angel Official and Chic Angel TV
Random Stuff:
Trivia: The group has toured internationally, including to the United States, the Philippines, and Brazil (which seems to be a popular destination for nugu Kpop groups) and have released a version of their song 'Like It' in a Filipino language (not sure if it's Tagalog or one of the others). I can't seem to find any records of their ages or real names anywhere, something I'm not sure if is a result of intentional obfuscation or just a lack of Hangul Googling skills. I think Sia looks a lot like Crayon Pop's Way/ChoA.
______________________________________________
Target
Who Are They: A 7 member boy group under KJ Music Entertainment
Genre: Kpop/Jpop
Kprofile: Info Link
MVs and Live Performances:
Vlogs: Target YouTube Official
Trivia: Though they initially debuted in Japan, all of the members of the group are Korean. Main Rapper GI was originally in a hip-hop group called Triplow.
______________________________________________
Ondi
Who is She: A female soloist under Purple Pine Entertainment
Genre: Singer Songwriter
Kprofile: Info Link
MVs and Live Performances:
Trivia: Supposedly she had a debut album but I can't find any record of it anywhere. She has a nice musical style though.
______________________________________________
BADCUPID
Who Are They: A four member K-Rock Band
Genre: Hybrid Rock
Webpage: Badcupid.net
MVs and Live Performances:
Vlogs: BadCupid YouTube Channel
Trivia: It looks like their last official album release was back in 2016, but they're still active having performed a couple months ago at Platform Changdong 61. I'm not sure what 'hybrid rock' means, but they do rock out.
______________________________________________
Special Feature - In Memorium:
The Ark
Who were they?: A five member girl group under Music K Entertainment/KeyEast
Genre: Hip-Hop/Girl Group
MVs and Live Stages:
Kprofiles: Info Link
Random Stuff:
Active Between: April 12th, 2015 - March 2016
Reason for disbandment: According to member Euna the company had internal problems which combined with a debut that didn't meet commercial expectations and their main vocalist Yujin developing vocal nodules and having to drop out it was determined that the group would be disbanded instead of trying to find a replacement main vocalist.
Trivia: Minju, leader of the group, had competed in Kpop Star 2 and after the group broke up competed in Kpop Star 6. She was slated to join new group DayDay but the group disbanded before debut. Main Rapper Euna was a contestant on Superstar K 3 and The Unit. Minju and Euna formed a duo called Khan after the breakup of The Ark (I'm Your Girl, their song). Members Suji and Jane took part in the Real Girls Project. Suji was in UNI.T and is also acting.
______________________________________________
That's it for today, let's get the discussion on!
As always, if you have any suggestions for groups, content, or things you'd like to see, please let me know in the comments below.
Also as always, a big shout-out to u/not-named-in-credits for his amazing work with nugutown.
submitted by tutetibiimperes to kpop [link] [comments]


2019.11.16 15:58 clattr Larry Asks Jenny About Filipino Cupid Love.

Larry Asks Jenny About Filipino Cupid Love. submitted by clattr to u/clattr [link] [comments]


2019.10.27 15:31 sextortionhope ⚠️I NEVER thought it would happen to me - IT privacy guru (26M) sextortion & catfish victim after using dating apps for 5 years and how I dealt with it. :(

Hey guys,
So I didn't know where or how to best post this for about a week now (I felt like a new reddit account for this content added a layer of protection and comfort for me), but I figured it can do WAY more good being out there on the line. (The Internship plug). I read a lot on how (especially young) people suicide from these events. I was quite lucky my footage was quite short and lowly lit. (It was never published publicly as far as I'm aware, it was just threatened to).
If you can relate I would feel really more comforted to hear your stories and thoughts too. I know I feel so stupid after knowing it was a catfish and giving away my personal email address + footage (I never heard of Sextortion before it happened to me, I had heard of catfishing but thought it was a thing troll did but not to this criminal extent - I've had friends and dates say they've been catfished in-person but never online like this, I feel quite ashamed talking about it with people I know, I haven't told anyone I know about it but rather just been suggesting to enhance online privacy), but you have to understand when you're in a lonely place, somewhat depressed and you match with a warm person, things can go lopsided very quickly! That's the part I wasn't honestly expecting :(
So last week I was viciously sextorted after being catfished online on OkCupid via Google Hangouts/Facebook. I had honestly never been catfished to this extent and I'm generally utmost careful about these things.
Some points to consider leading up to the online sextortion:
The attacker didn't get much of me in the video; at most it as a short video < a minute, and didn't show my face in full while doing it. It was also a dimly lit environment but they did ask throughout the video to show my face on cam and kiss it while showing a girl playing with herself on their end of the live cam which was a fake stream. I had my hesitations throughout it though being a self-conscious and private guy. The attacker kept asking me to using my selfie cam instead of my rear camera, I thought that was odd, but I was in a daze at the time, so I did a bit, but luckily I tried not to show my face in the same frame as my D as much. Thank god the light was behind my head and not in front of it or a downlight which would have lit the room up a lot more.
I wish Google did more to track these scammers (but if they're using a VPN & internet cafe it could be next to impossible to trace back, maybe the FBI has some tools or this other international internet crime fighting body I saw, Internet Crime Complaint Center https://www.ic3.gov/default.aspx, we also have DFAT here too), these attackers are literally killing people while being virtually untraceable. It's super sad.
It really has made me backflip on trusting anyone online.
I've been using Google advanced search + searching popular porn sites for my name, but so far nothing has come up with some relief.
I just don't like being constantly on edge. I have setup Google Keyword alerts too. My recorded video was a particular length as well which could help aid in spotting it on search engines if it ever does surface.
Seems like these scammers just move onto their next target if they can't get any money. I've read stories of young people suiciding after this. I guess my case was quite lucky. My internet dropped out as well and I had a lowly lit room (the light was behind the back of my head which made my face appear dark) which was really lucky because I usually would have went to a brighter room, the bathroom, but for some reason I didn't since it was taken. Thank god because the bathroom is waay more lit with a downlight and would have showed my face MUCH more clearly. I was lucky their recording was only < a minute. (according to the screenshot they sent from their Facebook account of the uploaded video set to an only me privacy setting). Probably not worth uploading for them to other sites. Anyone had this case before? The eSafety organisation said this is quite common.
Even better if OkCupid and Google could track the attacker's IP address to geolocate them via which ever ISP the attacker is using to use OkCupid / Google Hangouts; provided the attacker is not using some kind of VPN. (Which they probably are if they're this organised in a scripted cybercrime organisation, although I didn't see any VPN software on the attacker's PC through the screenshot but it looked like an internet cafe computer - fresh of no bloated software; but VPN tech could also be applied at the routemodem level too.
Potentially Google has a better chance of tracking the attacker's IP address down and contacting the relevant ISP in the Phillipines about this mischievous Google account's real user. OkCupid may have auto-logged the attacker's IP address, if they even do that.
Again, Google needs the Gmail address associated with the attacker which I don't have as explained in my previous email. https://www.wikihow.com/Report-a-Gmail-Account
Official Google Gmail Abuse Report page: https://support.google.com/mail/contact/abuse (I submitted feedback to Google that Hangouts needs better warnings in place similar to G Suite when you try to email someone out of your organisation).
I regret having used my personal Hangouts email account, usually I don't for strangers but this one time, she seemed real for the Facebook search cross check I did (I never added her on FB though), but it was a totally different girl with the same name, just lived in Sydney too. The attackers are getting smarter at this or maybe it was by chance the same named girl was also on FB in my local city.
Any how, after this incident I have definitely clamped down on online privacy a WHOLE lot more. I've set my Instagram, Twitter and parts of LinkedIn to private as well as changed a lot of my content on FB to friends only. Now I need to clean out my friends list.
I found a few good links here:
https://www.esafety.gov.au/women/being-social/online-dating/dating-apps-and-websites
https://www.esafety.gov.au/women/being-social/social-media/social-media-safety-tips
I read last night that Facebook has a tool where you can submit images to them to pre-screen obscene images via Machine Learning as the uploader uploads them. https://www.facebook.com/safety/notwithoutmyconsent/tools (mentions eSafety as well).
Luckily before this happened I had my Facebook's friend’s list visibility list set to only me. I’ve never made it public, at most, temporarily friends only. But 'only me' is your best bet, I mean, do you really know everyone you’ve added on Facebook?
The attacker started browsing tags of people in my public photos and threatened to send copies of the unknowingly recorded video to them. They seemed to have uploaded it to their own fake FB profile with visibility to set to 'only me' and then changed their profile's name to my full name. I quickly reported the profile and it was removed within a few minutes. Facebook also has a team of people monitoring for explicit content in the background any way if you never report. There's even an FB threats reporting tool if you happen to have some of the media. https://www.facebook.com/help/contact/567360146613371 I was never shown the video, just screenshots.
It seems like the attacker left me alone literally the moment I stopped contacting them over Hangouts. It definitely felt like a criminal syndicate organisations running in the Phillipines (their Hangouts chat was in Philippino language), noobs. Also contained notepads of their copy and pasted transcripts of what to say to victims. :(
My wish is that Google or OkCupid worked with FBI/Interpol to track down these bastards. People literally kill themselves over this. https://www.thedailybeast.com/sextortion-killed-their-son-cops-looked-the-other-way
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/prosecutors-bid-extradite-filipino-man-7394580
https://www.scmp.com/magazines/post-magazine/long-reads/article/2069492/sextortion-lies-and-videotape-philippine
https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/6978369/facebook-scammers-posing-as-beautiful-women-are-conning-men-into-sending-sex-photos-before-blackmailing-them-for-thousands-of-pounds/
Here are some tips I did:
Good graphic here on sextortion https://twitter.com/CioAmaro/status/1187333675534434307
It's even happening in the job market too. https://www.howtogeek.com/410387/scam-alert-fake-job-recruiters-tried-to-catfish-us-here%E2%80%99s-what-happened/
Just don't even let a scammer trick you into thinking your life is over. Even if your content does surface, there will always be ways to mitigate that content's spread (it often won't be a big spread any way since Social Networks and Search Engines will try to down play that content and have tools to remove it) and if they attacker has sent it to your family or friends, just rest assured, your family will come around as to what's happened.
If you need help, please contact Life line 13 11 14, https://www.lifeline.org.au/ or your relevant country contact body for these queries. I contacted eSafety for my case https://www.esafety.gov.au/image-based-abuse/action/remove-images-video/. I haven't been to the Police yet - if at all, I don't know if I should. They would seem pretty powerless in this overseas cybercrime case, and I don't really have the time to report it to them.
Just remember, no life is worth a sextortion attempt. :(
Thank you!
submitted by sextortionhope to catfish [link] [comments]


2019.10.15 14:40 HamRib [Request] 22f I think I have the easiest face to describe

I'm a portrait artist and i love this sub!
When I'm looking for posts to practice on, here are some things that i look for that make it easy for me to draw. I'll describe myself because I think my face is really easy to describe and it's not the generic "attractive face" that artists generally default to when drawing.
Gender:
female
Head shape/jaw:
oval. It would have been round if my nose and forehead wasnt so long. I've gained enough weight that my cheekbones can't be seen anymore but not enough to make my face look round. My jaw looks slightly rounded now too
Eyes:
small and squinty when i smile. Very prominent monolids and very heavy eyebags. The bags are always there even when I'm not tired. They're also dark.
Eye color:
brown, looks black
Eyebrows:
not too thick or thin, it arches right where my eyes end and then goes down
Chin:
small compared to my face, but it's still it's own thing, like if you're drawing my cheeks it's not just a straight line that goes down.
Mouth:
lips are fat but not wide enough to be balanced. There's a cupids bow on top and the lower lip is slightly bigger. Tapers at the edges. When i smile, i have this annoying habit of pursing my lips at the center so it looks like there are only lines that continue the smile up.
Nose:
big, long and wide. It makes up most of my face. Like when you draw the nose first and it ends up being too big. It's long when you look from the side but the tip is very round.
Ears:
Not too big or too small, doesn't protrude from my head
Hair color:
black
Hair style:
i usually just keep it down to my chest. It's straight but not stick straight, very thick
Facial hair:
none
Skin tone:
brownish yellow tone. Slightly on the lighter side of the usual filipino
Piercings:
none
Tattoos:
none
Misc.:
I'm 22 but I've been told i look older. Always wear glasses
Picture for comparison
https://imgur.com/a/ghu4gKh
submitted by HamRib to PoliceSketchme [link] [comments]


2019.08.27 20:02 7307takei Explain my fillipino/african match bias?

Anyone know why one third of the women I am matched with on OkCupid are African women and the other third are Filipino women, most living in their respective areas?
submitted by 7307takei to dating [link] [comments]


2019.07.09 01:06 Currypill "Indian" American here - why do I get zero responses when online dating in the US, but my inbox gets flooded when I am online dating in the Philippines?

I am a 26 year old "Indian" who was born and raised in the US, and I have never had a girlfriend or even been on a date before. About a year ago though, I started regularly seeing prostitutes, and so I have had lots of sex, but I have only ever had sex with prostitutes. I have tried OkCupid, Tinder, Bumble, Match, POF, etc., but I never, ever get responses from women. On Tinder, for example, I would occasionally match with a woman (maybe 1-3 a month if I swipe every day), but a very high percentage (more than half) would unmatch me, and none would respond when I would message them.
I was starting to think that I was just ugly, that I was unattractive to women. But then a friend suggested I try dating internationally. I put up a Facebook ad saying with a few photos of myself and a short, generic dating bio, which I broadcast worldwide. I went country by country and I got zero responses in all Western countries, including Eastern Europe. I also got poor results in countries like China, Taiwan, and even Thailand. But the country where I got extremely good responses was the Philippines. After my inbox was flooded with messages from gorgeous, wholesome Filipina women, I realized that I actually am not ugly, and that there are women who do find me attractive. I now have an absolutely beautiful long distance girlfriend in the Philippines. When I say nice things to her she always reciprocates, and she frequently sends me pictures of herself. She is also way, way more attractive than any woman I could ever dream about getting in the US. Right now I am contemplating the practical aspects of moving to the Philippines, because I want to be with her.
My question is why is my response rate is so different in the Philippines than in the US? Some people tell me that the reason American women don't like Indians is simply because American women are tall and Indians are short, and most women want a man taller than themselves. My rebuttal to this is that I am 6'1. You might say that Philippines is a poor country and Filipina women just want me for my money. I did mention in my bio that I am an electrical engineer, and I do make good money. HOWEVER, if I am just getting responses because the Philippines is poor, then why did I get no responses from the Ukraine? I broadcasted my ad in Ukraine, which is equally as poor as the Philippines, but I only got a small fraction of the responses in the Ukraine as I did the Philippines. You might say that Ukrainian women don't want me because I'm not white and most women want to be with a man who is the same race as them. But here's the thing: I'm not Filipino either, and I don't look Filipino, so why are Filipina women ok with me, but not Ukrainian or Thai women?
I have a theory as to why, but I am open to other suggestions. I think the reason Filipina women like me, whereas women from other countries don't has to do with religion. The Philippines is unique in that it is an extremely religious (Catholic) country. I believe that in religious countries, nerds are celebrated and thugs are scorned, whereas in secular countries thugs are celebrated and nerds are scorned. Even though a majority of Americans identify as Christians, in practice they are mostly secular, have secular values, and many don't regularly go to church, especially young people. Since Americans have secular values, they have a high opinion of thuggish traits (e.g. tattoos), and low opinion of nerd traits (e.g. educational attainment). Since I am an "Indian", I am a member of a race associated with nerdiness and educational attainment, which is looked down upon in American culture. This also explains why many American men of East Asian descent struggle to find women in America - because East Asians are a race associated with nerdiness and strong educational attainment, and these traits are looked down upon in Western culture.
Another thing supporting my theory is that my grandfather came to the US to study in the 1950s, and despite the fact that the US was much more racist at the time, he had no problem dating American women. About a year after he moved to the US he married my American grandmother. He was 20 at the time and she was 19. Even though the US was much more racist at this time, he came to the US at a time when America was more religious, and therefore the culture was more accepting of nerds such as himself.
Am I totally wrong in thinking that being a nerd, or being a member of a race associated with nerdiness means that it will be extremely difficult to find a woman in Western countries in 2019?
Note: Throughout this post I put "Indian" in quotation marks because I am technically not Indian at all, but 75% Iranian (Persian) and 25% white American (my grandmother). But even though I have zero ethnic or cultural connection to India or Indian people, I look full Indian, and everyone I meet automatically assumes I am Indian, so I am for all intents and purposes an "Indian".
submitted by Currypill to hapas [link] [comments]


2019.07.09 00:55 Currypill "Indian" American here - why do I get zero responses when online dating in the US, but my inbox gets flooded when I am online dating in the Philippines?

I am a 26 year old "Indian" who was born and raised in the US, and I have never had a girlfriend or even been on a date before. About a year ago though, I started regularly seeing prostitutes, and so I have had lots of sex, but I have only ever had sex with prostitutes. I have tried OkCupid, Tinder, Bumble, Match, POF, etc., but I never, ever get responses from women. On Tinder, for example, I would occasionally match with a woman (maybe 1-3 a month if I swipe every day), but a very high percentage (more than half) would unmatch me, and none would respond when I would message them.
I was starting to think that I was just ugly, that I was unattractive to women. But then a friend suggested I try dating internationally. I put up a Facebook ad saying with a few photos of myself and a short, generic dating bio, which I broadcast worldwide. I went country by country and I got zero responses in all Western countries, including Eastern Europe. I also got poor results in countries like China, Taiwan, and even Thailand. But the country where I got extremely good responses was the Philippines. After my inbox was flooded with messages from gorgeous, wholesome Filipina women, I realized that I actually am not ugly, and that there are women who do find me attractive. I now have an absolutely beautiful long distance girlfriend in the Philippines. When I say nice things to her she always reciprocates, and she frequently sends me pictures of herself. She is also way, way more attractive than any woman I could ever dream about getting in the US. Right now I am contemplating the practical aspects of moving to the Philippines, because I want to be with her.
My question is why is my response rate is so different in the Philippines than in the US? Some people tell me that the reason American women don't like Indians is simply because American women are tall and Indians are short, and most women want a man taller than themselves. My rebuttal to this is that I am 6'1. You might say that Philippines is a poor country and Filipina women just want me for my money. I did mention in my bio that I am an electrical engineer, and I do make good money. HOWEVER, if I am just getting responses because the Philippines is poor, then why did I get no responses from the Ukraine? I broadcasted my ad in Ukraine, which is equally as poor as the Philippines, but I only got a small fraction of the responses in the Ukraine as I did the Philippines. You might say that Ukrainian women don't want me because I'm not white and most women want to be with a man who is the same race as them. But here's the thing: I'm not Filipino either, and I don't look Filipino, so why are Filipina women ok with me, but not Ukrainian or Thai women?
I have a theory as to why, but I am open to other suggestions. I think the reason Filipina women like me, whereas women from other countries don't has to do with religion. The Philippines is unique in that it is an extremely religious (Catholic) country. I believe that in religious countries, nerds are celebrated and thugs are scorned, whereas in secular countries thugs are celebrated and nerds are scorned. Even though a majority of Americans identify as Christians, in practice they are mostly secular, have secular values, and many don't regularly go to church, especially young people. Since Americans have secular values, they have a high opinion of thuggish traits (e.g. tattoos), and low opinion of nerd traits (e.g. educational attainment). Since I am an "Indian", I am a member of a race associated with nerdiness and educational attainment, which is looked down upon in American culture. This also explains why many American men of East Asian descent struggle to find women in America - because East Asians are a race associated with nerdiness and strong educational attainment, and these traits are looked down upon in Western culture.
Another thing supporting my theory is that my grandfather came to the US to study in the 1950s, and despite the fact that the US was much more racist at the time, he had no problem dating American women. About a year after he moved to the US he married my American grandmother. He was 20 at the time and she was 19. Even though the US was much more racist at this time, he came to the US at a time when America was more religious, and therefore the culture was more accepting of nerds such as himself.
Am I totally wrong in thinking that being a nerd, or being a member of a race associated with nerdiness means that it will be extremely difficult to find a woman in Western countries in 2019?
Note: Throughout this post I put "Indian" in quotation marks because I am technically not Indian at all, but 75% Iranian (Persian) and 25% white American (my grandmother). But even though I have zero ethnic or cultural connection to India or Indian people, I look full Indian, and everyone I meet automatically assumes I am Indian, so I am for all intents and purposes an "Indian".
submitted by Currypill to dating [link] [comments]


2019.02.14 05:08 almost_retired Raised by Narcissists, I ended up hurting two women who did not deserve it. This is my story

I am a financially successful middle aged male. I have a kind, loyal and wonderful wife who I have been married to for 15 years. We have no kids.
I am healthy. I have a great job. Live in a amazing house. I travel the world. Have all the toys and comforts one could hope for. I also grew up on a very emotionally abusive home. Because of that I suffer from extremely low self-esteem, social anxiety, abandonment issues and constant need for validation. When growing up I was extremely shy and had very few friends. I had even fewer female friends. I always felt that I was ugly, clumsy and inadequate. My parents ruled by fear and intimidation. Any small infraction at school was treated as if had set the entire school building on fire (on purpose). There was no sense of proportionality. I could not make mistakes. I could not do even the smallest pranks. The rules were absolute. I also had no sense of self. My parents could and would give away my things as they saw fit. I had no privacy and they would feel entitled to even open letters that were directed at me. So I became very risk averse, meek and submissive, which made me an easy target for bullies at school and made me seem very unattractive for pretty much all girls during my teenage years. They few attempts that I made back then to approach girls were often met with some combination of disgust and ridicule. I stopped trying after a few hurtful rejections. So while everyone in high school was going out, partying, dating, getting laid and learning about life and relationships. I would remain mostly ostracized, finding solace on tabletop Dungeons&Dragons, computer games, sci-fi books and porn tapes.
I was 22 years old when I had my first "girlfriend". I was a rich kid, she was a working class girl. The huge social gap between us gave me enough confidence to approach her, but still, it was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. The relationship did not last long. She was stunningly beautiful, but the fact that she was working class and not well educated made me embarrassed of her. I would worry that being seen with her in public would lower even further my already low status among my peers. I broke up with her.
It was in college that I met my wife. Like me she was shy and meek. Like me she was also a little socially awkward. She was friendly enough and did not seem disgusted by me. This gave me enough courage to to hit on her. Things worked out and after years of dating, we got married.
Overall it was a happy marriage. We opted to not have kids. She was easy to live with, frugal, accommodating, caring, responsible, reliable, hard working. However, sex was never her strong suit since we started dating. The sex that was mediocre at best when we were dating became over the years extremely infrequent and when it did happen, it was bland and boring. Sex simply was not important for her, so she put very little effort in it. She was still attentive and affectionate outside of the bedroom, but in terms of sex, she wanted to put no effort. I even suggested we see a sex therapist, but she wanted to have none of it. For her everything was fine as is.
But for me things were not fine. I needed sex as a means of validation. I saw the willingness and desire to have sex with me as proof that I was not disgusting or undesirable. However, as a married man, sex had become routine and mechanical. Any dirty talk from me would quickly be cut off by my wife, who would criticize me for "talking like a pervert". I started feeling unwanted and undesired all over again, just like high school.
Then in 2016 I had the chance to do a 2 week solo trip to the Philippines for the purpose of diving. My wife had no issues letting me go alone. She had full trust in me. As I was preparing for the trip, a lightbulb went off in my head: This trip would be the golden opportunity to meet younger women, have fun, and experience all the dating/sexual adventures that I felt were denied to me during my teen years. Since it was all the way out in the Philippines, my wife would never know and there would be no one there to judge me. I would not have to worry about the social status of the girls or anything like that. So with that in mind, I found a dating website called FilipinoCupid, filled out my profile (listed myself as SINGLE), uploaded some pictures and waited. The amount of responses I got within a few hours was incredible. Waves and waves of girls mostly half my age were eager to meet with me. Of course I knew that their interest was not because of my looks or charm. But I did not care. I felt wanted and desired. I started conversations with several girls and met a few of them once I arrived in the Philippines. They were OK, there was little chemistry as it was obvious that they were really just looking for someone to buy them dinner and presents. My hunger for attention and validation was being left unfulfilled. I was ready to give when I met Maggie.
Maggie was 23, petite, not stunning but very cute. She worked on a call center and spoke very good English. Unlike many of the previous filipino girls I’ve met, she was not a young single mother looking for a foreigner as a ticket out. She also seemed more articulate and able to carry out more complex conversations than most of the girls that I had met before. And more importantly, Maggie laughed at my jokes.
I initially spend 10 days with Maggie. Took her to restaurants, beach resorts, scuba diving, etc...Sex was amazing. The best I ever had in decades. She was enthusiastic, eager to please and willing to fulfill every fantasy I had. She would do strip-teases, imitate scenes from porn movies, and we would fuck several times a day. I think on the first 10 days we spent together I had more sex than in the last 5 years. I was in sexual heaven, while Maggie truly believed that she had found a boyfriend.
When I departed the Philippines, I left Maggie with the understanding that we would have a long term long distance relationship and eventually get together permanently (she had no idea I was married).
So I came back home as if nothing had happened and began living a double life. Because of the time difference and the fact that Maggie worked on a call center, we could chat and talk during my work hours, so my wife remained clueless about the affair. I visited the Philippines 4 more times after that. All for “diving trips” where I would spend the entire time with Maggie. However, this double life started to take a toll on me. Guilt about cheating on my wife started to creep in. I started feeling like a fraud, a worthless scumbag. I also started worrying about Maggie. She was investing heavily emotionally on a relationship that I knew had no future. She should be dating single guys who come become her husband, not wasting her time with a lying, older married man.. This guilt trip went on until the final visit to the Philippines in December, where I spent a whopping 18 days with Maggie.
After spending all this time with her in the Philippines, it was clear to me that my attachment to her was entirely for validation. I enjoyed being the center of attention and seeing her submit to any sexual desire or request I had. But over time, I grew tired of her. Other than sex, we had very little in common. Our age difference, cultural, educational and financial gaps made it very difficult to relate or have meaningful conversations. So at the end of my 18 day trip to the Philippines, I was relief to depart and told myself that I would never see her again.
A few days later we had an online argument and I took that opportunity to break up with her. At the time I felt a huge relief to let her go. I would no longer feel guilty about cheating on my wife. I would no longer have to live a double life. I would no longer feel guilty about holding Maggie back from engaging into a real and meaningful relationships that did not involve a married man twice her age. So I cut off all contact with her in the hopes of breaking off the relationship for good. However, I remained cyberstalking her, monitoring as much as possible her struggles with the broken relationship. I think I drew satisfaction from knowing that she was missing me. I did not enjoy her suffering, but I did enjoy the idea of being needed and that I might be irreplaceable. I had no issues with staying out of contact with her for as long as I knew she was missing me.
However, a few weeks later she posted on her social network a picture of a young man, and it was clear that she was on a new relationship. That made in incredible angry, jealous and hurt. I felt betrayed that she could find a replacement and that I was no longer the center of her universe.
I became desperate and tried to contact her. I wanted to re-establish the relationship, even though I didn't really want to visit her again in the Philippines and I knew that I would be deceiving her once more, and potentially destroying a viable relationship that she currently had just started. Fortunately she ignored all attempts of communication. My rational side is relief that she did not respond to my messages, as I know I would have started the harmful relationship once more. But my emotional side feels distressed, abandoned and betrayed. I am angry at the thought of another man having sex with her. I am angry that she is no longer thinking about and lusting after me. I feel diminished now that I am no longer the center of her attention and that she could so easily replace me with a local younger man. I know that these feelings and not logical, rational or even realistic, but I feel them.
I have shut down all my social network accounts to prevent any temptation of reaching out to her again and maybe have her reaching out to me. But I keep fantasizing that her current relationship will fail, that she will realized that no man can be as good as me, and that she will try to contact me again to renew the relationship.
Eventually I broke down and reached out to her via txt. She responded to my messages and we started talking again. I found that that the guy was just a hookup to get her mind off me and she was eager to get back together again. So we started chatting once again, back to our old ways of long distance relationship. After a couple of days that it dawned on my that I was addicted to attention and if I let this continue, I would probably lose my sanity and worse, destroy the lives of two women, Maggie and my wife.
I had to put a stop on this irrevocably and irreversibly, and I knew that just breaking up with Maggie would not be enough, because I was addicted to her attention and would look for an excuse to get back to her. I had to burn every possible bridge, so there would be no way back.
I picked up the phone, called Maggie and told her that I was a married man. At first she thought I was lying, making up some bullshit so she would breakup with me. Eventually I was able to convince her that I was telling the truth. She cried a lot and told me to never, ever, contact her again before she hang up on me. I felt like shit, because I was shit.
Next I went home, sat my wife down and looking in her eye, I told her everything. She was stunned with disbelief and confusion. After a few hours, disbelief was replaced with anger, shame and sadness. We are sleeping in different rooms now and she has not decided what she wants to do or how she wants to move forward (divorce or reconciliation).
Today will be my first day of therapy. I want to address the underlying insecurity issues that drove me to do what I did, so this will never happen again. I don’t like to hurt people and I feel terrible for what I have done. Maggie will probably hate me for the rest of her life and there is a very high chance that so will my wife. That is not the mark I want to leave in this world. This is not the person I want to be remembered as. I want to become better and do better. Telling the whole truth to all parties involved was the first step. Hopefully I will have the strength and the support to learn how to love myself without need needing sex for validation.
submitted by almost_retired to raisedbynarcissists [link] [comments]


2019.02.14 04:33 almost_retired I've hurt to women who did not deserve it. This is my story

I am a financially successful middle aged male. I have a kind, loyal and wonderful wife who I have been married to for 15 years. We have no kids.
I am healthy. I have a great job. Live in a amazing house. I travel the world. Have all the toys and comforts one could hope for. I also grew up on a very emotionally abusive home. Because of that I suffer from extremely low self-esteem, social anxiety, abandonment issues and constant need for validation. When growing up I was extremely shy and had very few friends. I had even fewer female friends. I always felt that I was ugly, clumsy and inadequate. My parents ruled by fear and intimidation. Any small infraction at school was treated as if had set the entire school building on fire (on purpose). There was no sense of proportionality. I could not make mistakes. I could not do even the smallest pranks. The rules were absolute. I also had no sense of self. My parents could and would give away my things as they saw fit. I had no privacy and they would feel entitled to even open letters that were directed at me. So I became very risk averse, meek and submissive, which made me an easy target for bullies at school and made me seem very unattractive for pretty much all girls during my teenage years. They few attempts that I made back then to approach girls were often met with some combination of disgust and ridicule. I stopped trying after a few hurtful rejections. So while everyone in high school was going out, partying, dating, getting laid and learning about life and relationships. I would remain mostly ostracized, finding solace on tabletop Dungeons&Dragons, computer games, sci-fi books and porn tapes.
I was 22 years old when I had my first "girlfriend". I was a rich kid, she was a working class girl. The huge social gap between us gave me enough confidence to approach her, but still, it was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. The relationship did not last long. She was stunningly beautiful, but the fact that she was working class and not well educated made me embarrassed of her. I would worry that being seen with her in public would lower even further my already low status among my peers. I broke up with her.
It was in college that I met my wife. Like me she was shy and meek. Like me she was also a little socially awkward. She was friendly enough and did not seem disgusted by me. This gave me enough courage to to hit on her. Things worked out and after years of dating, we got married.
Overall it was a happy marriage. We opted to not have kids. She was easy to live with, frugal, accommodating, caring, responsible, reliable, hard working. However, sex was never her strong suit since we started dating. The sex that was mediocre at best when we were dating became over the years extremely infrequent and when it did happen, it was bland and boring. Sex simply was not important for her, so she put very little effort in it. She was still attentive and affectionate outside of the bedroom, but in terms of sex, she wanted to put no effort. I even suggested we see a sex therapist, but she wanted to have none of it. For her everything was fine as is.
But for me things were not fine. I needed sex as a means of validation. I saw the willingness and desire to have sex with me as proof that I was not disgusting or undesirable. However, as a married man, sex had become routine and mechanical. Any dirty talk from me would quickly be cut off by my wife, who would criticize me for "talking like a pervert". I started feeling unwanted and undesired all over again, just like high school.
Then in 2016 I had the chance to do a 2 week solo trip to the Philippines for the purpose of diving. My wife had no issues letting me go alone. She had full trust in me. As I was preparing for the trip, a lightbulb went off in my head: This trip would be the golden opportunity to meet younger women, have fun, and experience all the dating/sexual adventures that I felt were denied to me during my teen years. Since it was all the way out in the Philippines, my wife would never know and there would be no one there to judge me. I would not have to worry about the social status of the girls or anything like that. So with that in mind, I found a dating website called FilipinoCupid, filled out my profile (listed myself as SINGLE), uploaded some pictures and waited. The amount of responses I got within a few hours was incredible. Waves and waves of girls mostly half my age were eager to meet with me. Of course I knew that their interest was not because of my looks or charm. But I did not care. I felt wanted and desired. I started conversations with several girls and met a few of them once I arrived in the Philippines. They were OK, there was little chemistry as it was obvious that they were really just looking for someone to buy them dinner and presents. My hunger for attention and validation was being left unfulfilled. I was ready to give when I met Maggie.
Maggie was 23, petite, not stunning but very cute. She worked on a call center and spoke very good English. Unlike many of the previous filipino girls I’ve met, she was not a young single mother looking for a foreigner as a ticket out. She also seemed more articulate and able to carry out more complex conversations than most of the girls that I had met before. And more importantly, Maggie laughed at my jokes.
I initially spend 10 days with Maggie. Took her to restaurants, beach resorts, scuba diving, etc...Sex was amazing. The best I ever had in decades. She was enthusiastic, eager to please and willing to fulfill every fantasy I had. She would do strip-teases, imitate scenes from porn movies, and we would fuck several times a day. I think on the first 10 days we spent together I had more sex than in the last 5 years. I was in sexual heaven, while Maggie truly believed that she had found a boyfriend.
When I departed the Philippines, I left Maggie with the understanding that we would have a long term long distance relationship and eventually get together permanently (she had no idea I was married).
So I came back home as if nothing had happened and began living a double life. Because of the time difference and the fact that Maggie worked on a call center, we could chat and talk during my work hours, so my wife remained clueless about the affair. I visited the Philippines 4 more times after that. All for “diving trips” where I would spend the entire time with Maggie. However, this double life started to take a toll on me. Guilt about cheating on my wife started to creep in. I started feeling like a fraud, a worthless scumbag. I also started worrying about Maggie. She was investing heavily emotionally on a relationship that I knew had no future. She should be dating single guys who come become her husband, not wasting her time with a lying, older married man.. This guilt trip went on until the final visit to the Philippines in December, where I spent a whopping 18 days with Maggie.
After spending all this time with her in the Philippines, it was clear to me that my attachment to her was entirely for validation. I enjoyed being the center of attention and seeing her submit to any sexual desire or request I had. But over time, I grew tired of her. Other than sex, we had very little in common. Our age difference, cultural, educational and financial gaps made it very difficult to relate or have meaningful conversations. So at the end of my 18 day trip to the Philippines, I was relief to depart and told myself that I would never see her again.
A few days later we had an online argument and I took that opportunity to break up with her. At the time I felt a huge relief to let her go. I would no longer feel guilty about cheating on my wife. I would no longer have to live a double life. I would no longer feel guilty about holding Maggie back from engaging into a real and meaningful relationships that did not involve a married man twice her age. So I cut off all contact with her in the hopes of breaking off the relationship for good. However, I remained cyberstalking her, monitoring as much as possible her struggles with the broken relationship. I think I drew satisfaction from knowing that she was missing me. I did not enjoy her suffering, but I did enjoy the idea of being needed and that I might be irreplaceable. I had no issues with staying out of contact with her for as long as I knew she was missing me.
However, a few weeks later she posted on her social network a picture of a young man, and it was clear that she was on a new relationship. That made in incredible angry, jealous and hurt. I felt betrayed that she could find a replacement and that I was no longer the center of her universe.
I became desperate and tried to contact her. I wanted to re-establish the relationship, even though I didn't really want to visit her again in the Philippines and I knew that I would be deceiving her once more, and potentially destroying a viable relationship that she currently had just started. Fortunately she ignored all attempts of communication. My rational side is relief that she did not respond to my messages, as I know I would have started the harmful relationship once more. But my emotional side feels distressed, abandoned and betrayed. I am angry at the thought of another man having sex with her. I am angry that she is no longer thinking about and lusting after me. I feel diminished now that I am no longer the center of her attention and that she could so easily replace me with a local younger man. I know that these feelings and not logical, rational or even realistic, but I feel them.
I have shut down all my social network accounts to prevent any temptation of reaching out to her again and maybe have her reaching out to me. But I keep fantasizing that her current relationship will fail, that she will realized that no man can be as good as me, and that she will try to contact me again to renew the relationship.
Eventually I broke down and reached out to her via txt. She responded to my messages and we started talking again. I found that that the guy was just a hookup to get her mind off me and she was eager to get back together again. So we started chatting once again, back to our old ways of long distance relationship. After a couple of days that it dawned on my that I was addicted to attention and if I let this continue, I would probably lose my sanity and worse, destroy the lives of two women, Maggie and my wife.
I had to put a stop on this irrevocably and irreversibly, and I knew that just breaking up with Maggie would not be enough, because I was addicted to her attention and would look for an excuse to get back to her. I had to burn every possible bridge, so there would be no way back.
I picked up the phone, called Maggie and told her that I was a married man. At first she thought I was lying, making up some bullshit so she would breakup with me. Eventually I was able to convince her that I was telling the truth. She cried a lot and told me to never, ever, contact her again before she hang up on me. I felt like shit, because I was shit.
Next I went home, sat my wife down and looking in her eye, I told her everything. She was stunned with disbelief and confusion. After a few hours, disbelief was replaced with anger, shame and sadness. We are sleeping in different rooms now and she has not decided what she wants to do or how she wants to move forward (divorce or reconciliation).
Today will be my first day of therapy. I want to address the underlying insecurity issues that drove me to do what I did, so this will never happen again. I don’t like to hurt people and I feel terrible for what I have done. Maggie will probably hate me for the rest of her life and there is a very high chance that so will my wife. That is not the mark I want to leave in this world. This is not the person I want to be remembered as. I want to become better and do better. Telling the whole truth to all parties involved was the first step. Hopefully I will have the strength and the support to learn how to love myself without need needing sex for validation.
submitted by almost_retired to DecidingToBeBetter [link] [comments]


2019.02.14 04:06 almost_retired I've hurt two women who did not deserve it. This is my story

I am a financially successful middle aged male. I have a kind, loyal and gentle wife who I have been married to for 15 years. We have no kids.
I am healthy. I have a great job. Live in a amazing house. I travel the world and have all the toys and comforts one could hope for. I also grew up on a very emotionally abusive home. Because of that I suffer from extremely low self-esteem, social anxiety, abandonment issues and constant need for validation. When growing up I was extremely shy and had very few friends. I had even fewer female friends. I always felt that I was ugly, clumsy and inadequate. My parents ruled by fear and intimidation, so I became very meek and submissive, which made me an easy target for bullies at school and made me seem very unattractive for pretty much all girls during my teenage years. They few attempts that I made back then to approach girls were often met with some combination of disgust and ridicule. I stopped trying after a few hurtful rejections. So while everyone in high school was going out, partying, dating, getting laid and learning about life and relationships. I would remain mostly ostracized, finding solace on tabletop Dungeons&Dragons, computer games, sci-fi books and porn tapes.
I was 22 years old when I had my first "girlfriend". I was a "rich kid", and she was a working class girl. The huge social gap between us gave me enough confidence to approach her, but still, it was one of the most difficult things I have ever done. The relationship did not last long. She was stunningly beautiful, but the fact that she was working class and not well educated made me embarrassed of her. I would worry that being seen with her in public would lower even further my already low status among my peers. I broke up with her.
It was in college that I met my wife. Like me she was shy and meek. Like me she was also a little socially awkward. She was friendly enough and did not seem disgusted by me. This gave me enough courage to hit on her. Things worked out and after years of dating, we got married.
Overall it was a happy marriage. We opted to not have kids. She was easy to live with, frugal, accommodating, caring, responsible, reliable, hard working. However, sex was never her strong suit since we started dating. The sex that was mediocre at best when we were dating became over the years extremely infrequent and when it did happen, it was bland and boring. Sex simply was not important for her, so she put very little effort in it. She was still attentive and affectionate outside of the bedroom, but in terms of sex, she wanted to put no effort. I even suggested we see a sex therapist, but she wanted to have none of it. For her everything was fine as is.
But for me things were not fine. I needed sex as a means of validation. I saw the willingness and desire to have sex with me as proof that I was not disgusting or undesirable. However, as a married man, sex had become routine and mechanical. Any dirty talk from me would quickly be cut off by my wife, who would criticize me for "talking like a pervert". I started feeling unwanted and undesired all over again, just like high school.
Then in 2016 I had the chance to do a 2 week solo trip to the Philippines for the purpose of diving. My wife had no issues letting me go alone. She had full trust in me. As I was preparing for the trip, a lightbulb went off in my head: This trip would be the golden opportunity to meet younger women, have fun, and experience all the dating/sexual adventures that I felt were denied to me during my teen years. Since it was all the way out in the Philippines, my wife would never know and there would be no one there to judge me. I would not have to worry about the social status of the girls or anything like that. So with that in mind, I found a dating website called FilipinoCupid, filled out my profile (listed myself as SINGLE), uploaded some pictures and waited. The amount of responses I got within a few hours was incredible. Waves and waves of girls mostly half my age were eager to meet with me. Of course I knew that their interest was not because of my looks or charm. But I did not care. I felt wanted and desired. I started conversations with several girls and met a few of them once I arrived in the Philippines. They were OK, there was little chemistry as it was obvious that they were really just looking for someone to buy them dinner and presents. My hunger for attention and validation was being left unfulfilled. I was ready to give when I met Maggie.
Maggie was 23, petite, not stunning but very cute. She worked on a call center and spoke very good English. Unlike many of the previous filipino girls I’ve met, she was not a young single mother looking for a foreigner as a ticket out. She also seemed more articulate and able to carry out more complex conversations than most of the girls that I had met before. And more importantly, Maggie laughed at my jokes.
I initially spend 10 days with Maggie. Took her to restaurants, beach resorts, scuba diving, etc...Sex was amazing. The best I ever had in decades. She was enthusiastic, eager to please and willing to fulfill every fantasy I had. She would do strip-teases, imitate scenes from porn movies, and we would fuck several times a day. I think on the first 10 days we spent together I had more sex than in the last 5 years. I was in sexual heaven, while Maggie truly believed that she had found a boyfriend.
When I departed the Philippines, I left Maggie with the understanding that we would have a long term long distance relationship and eventually get together permanently (she had no idea I was married).
So I came back home as if nothing had happened and began living a double life. Because of the time difference and the fact that Maggie worked on a call center, we could chat and talk during my work hours, so my wife remained clueless about the affair. I visited the Philippines 4 more times after that. All for “diving trips” where I would spend the entire time with Maggie. However, this double life started to take a toll on me. Guilt about cheating on my wife started to creep in. I started feeling like a fraud, a worthless scumbag. I also started worrying about Maggie. She was investing heavily emotionally on a relationship that I knew had no future. She should be dating single guys who come become her husband, not wasting her time with a lying, older married man.. This guilt trip went on until the final visit to the Philippines in December, where I spent a whopping 18 days with Maggie.
After spending all this time with her in the Philippines, it was clear to me that my attachment to her was entirely for validation. I enjoyed being the center of attention and seeing her submit to any sexual desire or request I had. But over time, I grew tired of her. Other than sex, we had very little in common. Our age difference, cultural, educational and financial gaps made it very difficult to relate or have meaningful conversations. So at the end of my 18 day trip to the Philippines, I was relief to depart and told myself that I would never see her again.
A few days later we had an online argument and I took that opportunity to break up with her. At the time I felt a huge relief to let her go. I would no longer feel guilty about cheating on my wife. I would no longer have to live a double life. I would no longer feel guilty about holding Maggie back from engaging into a real and meaningful relationships that did not involve a married man twice her age. So I cut off all contact with her in the hopes of breaking off the relationship for good. However, I remained cyberstalking her, monitoring as much as possible her struggles with the broken relationship. I think I drew satisfaction from knowing that she was missing me. I did not enjoy her suffering, but I did enjoy the idea of being needed and that I might be irreplaceable. I had no issues with staying out of contact with her for as long as I knew she was missing me.
However, a few weeks later she posted on her social network a picture of a young man, and it was clear that she was on a new relationship. That made in incredible angry, jealous and hurt. I felt betrayed that she could find a replacement and that I was no longer the center of her universe.
I became desperate and tried to contact her. I wanted to re-establish the relationship, even though I didn't really want to visit her again in the Philippines and I knew that I would be deceiving her once more, and potentially destroying a viable relationship that she currently had just started. Fortunately she ignored all attempts of communication. My rational side is relief that she did not respond to my messages, as I know I would have started the harmful relationship once more. But my emotional side feels distressed, abandoned and betrayed. I am angry at the thought of another man having sex with her. I am angry that she is no longer thinking about and lusting after me. I feel diminished now that I am no longer the center of her attention and that she could so easily replace me with a local younger man. I know that these feelings and not logical, rational or even realistic, but I feel them.
I have shut down all my social network accounts to prevent any temptation of reaching out to her again and maybe have her reaching out to me. But I keep fantasizing that her current relationship will fail, that she will realized that no man can be as good as me, and that she will try to contact me again to renew the relationship.
Eventually I broke down and reached out to her via txt. She responded to my messages and we started talking again. I found that that the guy was just a hookup to get her mind off me and she was eager to get back together again. So we started chatting once again, back to our old ways of long distance relationship. After a couple of days that it dawned on my that I was addicted to attention and if I let this continue, I would probably lose my sanity and worse, destroy the lives of two women, Maggie and my wife.
I had to put a stop on this irrevocably and irreversibly, and I knew that just breaking up with Maggie would not be enough, because I was addicted to her attention and would look for an excuse to get back to her. I had to burn every possible bridge, so there would be no way back.
I picked up the phone, called Maggie and told her that I was a married man. At first she thought I was lying, making up some bullshit so she would breakup with me. Eventually I was able to convince her that I was telling the truth. She cried a lot and told me to never, ever, contact her again before she hang up on me. I felt like shit, because I was shit.
Next I went home, sat my wife down and looking in her eye, I told her everything. She was stunned with disbelief and confusion. After a few hours, disbelief was replaced with anger, shame and sadness. We are sleeping in different rooms now and she has not decided what she wants to do or how she wants to move forward (divorce or reconciliation).
Today will be my first day of therapy. I want to address the underlying insecurity issues that drove me to do what I did, so this will never happen again. I don’t like to hurt people and I feel terrible for what I have done. Maggie will probably hate me for the rest of her life and there is a very high chance that so will my wife. That is not the mark I want to leave in this world. This is not the person I want to be remembered as. I want to become better and do better. Telling the whole truth to all parties involved was the first step. Hopefully I will have the strength and the support to learn how to love myself without need needing sex for validation.
submitted by almost_retired to Infidelity [link] [comments]


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